Instead of listening to the old grans story I fill the house with sleeping gas.

Once it has taken effect I move in and steal the mushroom

I have the musroom!

I hide the mushroom in my own orifice which gives me a strange walk

After seducing Pooky's gran i find where Chi ken was heading. It doesn't take me long to spot his funny walk and i proceed to retrieve the mushroom which is now covered in 3 shades of excrement.

I have the mushroom.

I hide the mushroom in an indestructible safe which can only be opened by a 126 digit code which randomizes every 3 seconds. The volume of the safe is EXACTLY that of the mushroom.

(Sadly this failed after my post as I didnt mean a aircraft but another dimension, but anyway)

I opened the unlocked safe and take the mushroom, glad that you forgot to lock the lock.

I have the mushroom!

By now the mushroom have mutated into a infected mushroom. I had to lock it up in the basement. All you see in the dark is its one eye, blinking at you, begging for release..

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i hold a mirror in front of me. the eye starts turning to stone. before it reaches the rest of the mushroom i throw away the mirror and grab the mushroom (wearing rubber gloves of course)

i have the mushroom!

i send it through a matter transmitting machine, which travels to random co-ordinates every five minutes.

I was only pretending that that mushroom was THE mushroom, when actually I have the real one, excrement free.

I have the real mushroom!

I then hide it in a special safe with which you have to get 300 points in every level on the hardest mode in Super Crate Box to open.